(via done)

unshrink:

Someone: “You have no talents”

Me:

image

(via done)

semitics:

semitics:

You homosexuals and your gay this, gay that. I for one am emitting sounds only audible to whales

While you were “power bottoming,” I was echolocating to assemble my bat breatheren

(via fog-father)

cameoappearance:
“ jumpingjacktrash:
“ the45thpresidentialruger:
“Never talk to me or my 42 trees again
”
it amuses me to see people being surprised/impressed/amused by this setup, because it’s extremely common on the plains. if you don’t plant a...

cameoappearance:

jumpingjacktrash:

the45thpresidentialruger:

Never talk to me or my 42 trees again

it amuses me to see people being surprised/impressed/amused by this setup, because it’s extremely common on the plains. if you don’t plant a windbreak, your heating and cooling bills are huge, and storms do things like throw the lawnmower through the living room window, take the roof off, or cake the entire north side of the house with six inches of solid ice.

evergreens remain bendy even in the coldest weather, so – wait, no, not the coldest. i remember when i was a kid it got down to like -45 and the norway pines around my house were cracking like gunshots as the sap froze.

maples, incidentally, make that noise around -20f, and i hear it at least once every winter here in southern minnesota. but i only ever heard norway pines make it that one time.

so anyway that’s why we plant pine trees around our houses. because otherwise the wind would freaking kill us.

This is informative and perfectly sensible under the circumstances but I also cannot resist the temptation to compare it to planting stuff all around the boundary of your lot in The Sims

(via fog-father)

trainthief:

me when i was in the 2nd grade and mrs. ammot tried to teach me long division 

image

(via fog-father)

deadfoxforcutie:

deadfoxforcutie:

skyrim remaster with tiddie jiggle physics but because bethesda’s game engine is so wack they have to incorporate it into the game by inserting a very small unique npc within each each tiddie who jumps at scripted intervals. 

can cause a glitch where the player characters tiddies become hostile 

(via fog-father)

lesbianlion:

image

this is incredibly good

(via fog-father)

lsleofskye:
“Tidal wave 🌊
”

pedromgabriel:

- My sweet paradise -

by Pedro Gabriel

(Source: pedromgabriel.com, via fog-father)

tastefullyoffensive:
“There’s a Facebook page where UPS drivers post about pets they come across.
”

tastefullyoffensive:

There’s a Facebook page where UPS drivers post about pets they come across.

joshpeck:
“love is REAL
”

joshpeck:

love is REAL

hafwen:

thighetician:

royalarmyofoz:

gabriel lost then won twice

I kind of want to watch this episode now

He works at Chipotle to help support his parents and Gordon also said he would help with that too

(via igotmybearhands)

capricornhumor:

I miss the good old days in US politics where the biggest scandal was when Leslie Knope discovered she was really born in Eagleton

(via poudre-de-cheminette)